Hoodies aka My Blankie

Hoodie from Zappos.com
My uniform practically every day is: jeans, t-shirt, hoodie. In the fall and spring the jeans change to capri pants. When it gets really hot in the summer the capri pants change to shorts. Only when it's absolutely hot out do I ditch the hoodie. 

Is it because I am cold? No. 

Hoodies have become my security blanket, my blankie. I feel very self conscious if I'm not wearing one. It started out that I felt like they hid my mommy tummy well. But my mommy tummy isn't near so obvious and I panicked the other day when I was behind on laundry and thought there were no clean hoodies! Gasp! I had to dig out my white one, and I am not good with white, rather than go sans hoodie.

I realized that day that I am hiding behind hoodies. The pics you see on my blog are all taken to give a good view of my progress, so I strip off the hoodie for those. Immediately once the pics are taken back on goes the hoodie.

I remember last summer wearing shorts, tank tops, and thinner hoodies. I was hot, but I didn't want to let go of my hoodies. I didn't want people to see me. I was hiding my body.

On a long conversation with my sister a few days ago (yes, this is where many of my epiphanies happen) I realized something about this. I am hiding my body because I am self conscious of my shape. Whether I am fat, or maybe worse if I am thin, I am hiding my curvy shape. I am so self conscious of my body that I don't want to dress even remotely sexy. I mean, really, a t-shirt and jeans isn't exactly ms. sex pot. Yet, I feel awkward without my hoodie!

I guess it's just more self image, body image issues coming into the light. I take one down and here creeps another! Who knew I had so many issues?! LOL. Baby steps. Progress. That's what I'm aiming for here. 

So, my new goal is to ditch the hoodies a couple of days a week. Taking the band-aid off slowly instead of just ripping it off all at once. Hopefully by summer I'll be able to just wear a t-shirt and not swelter in the heat under a hoodie.

I really like the hoodie in the pic from Zappos.com....oops, this isn't going to be easy.

Do you have clothing you use to hide under?