|Hoodie from Zappos.com|
Is it because I am cold? No.
Hoodies have become my security blanket, my blankie. I feel very self conscious if I'm not wearing one. It started out that I felt like they hid my mommy tummy well. But my mommy tummy isn't near so obvious and I panicked the other day when I was behind on laundry and thought there were no clean hoodies! Gasp! I had to dig out my white one, and I am not good with white, rather than go sans hoodie.
I realized that day that I am hiding behind hoodies. The pics you see on my blog are all taken to give a good view of my progress, so I strip off the hoodie for those. Immediately once the pics are taken back on goes the hoodie.
I remember last summer wearing shorts, tank tops, and thinner hoodies. I was hot, but I didn't want to let go of my hoodies. I didn't want people to see me. I was hiding my body.
On a long conversation with my sister a few days ago (yes, this is where many of my epiphanies happen) I realized something about this. I am hiding my body because I am self conscious of my shape. Whether I am fat, or maybe worse if I am thin, I am hiding my curvy shape. I am so self conscious of my body that I don't want to dress even remotely sexy. I mean, really, a t-shirt and jeans isn't exactly ms. sex pot. Yet, I feel awkward without my hoodie!
I guess it's just more self image, body image issues coming into the light. I take one down and here creeps another! Who knew I had so many issues?! LOL. Baby steps. Progress. That's what I'm aiming for here.
So, my new goal is to ditch the hoodies a couple of days a week. Taking the band-aid off slowly instead of just ripping it off all at once. Hopefully by summer I'll be able to just wear a t-shirt and not swelter in the heat under a hoodie.
I really like the hoodie in the pic from Zappos.com....oops, this isn't going to be easy.
Do you have clothing you use to hide under?