Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Supporters vs Non-Supporters

Yesterday my 16 year old son came home after spending the better part of the weekend with one of my family members. This family member was quite negative and said some unkind things to my son, including that he was 'worthless like his mother'. Or something like that, I paraphrase. 


Now, obviously, this is someone I will be limiting my son's time with from now on. I had a long talk with my son about the whole thing, but my lesson from it was this: 
In the past I would have been angry or crushed; I would have obsessed about why my family treats me how they do, or has the opinions of me they do, blah blah blah. Now I see it for what it is, this person projecting their unhappiness with the state of their own life onto my son and myself. Wrong, yes. Sad, yes. Having anything to do with me, nope.


When we change our lives everyone isn't going to be happy


There will be those that see our success as a spotlight on the situations in their lives. There will be those that want to put us right back where we were because they are comfortable with that. There will be those who are simply jealous, negative, hurtful. There will even be those in our lives who would sabotage our efforts. Sad, but reality.


We have to continue doing what we know is good for us. We have to continue taking care of us. We have to continue to be great! Anything less is cheating ourselves and the rest of the world.


Sometimes this may mean letting negative or hurtful words slide off us like water off a duck's back. Or it could mean limiting our time with certain people, or severing relationships all together.


Sad as this seems, we cannot let other people take us down. No matter how much we want to help someone, or how much we want someone to love/like us, or whatever the situation, there is a line we have to draw in keeping ourselves right. We have to know the road we're on and not stray (this is true in weight loss and in life). I truly believe in the long run our example will speak volumes even to those we struggle with now.


But thankfully, just as we will have our non-supporters, we will also have our supporters! Those who will be our cheerleaders and be happy for us in our successes. Those who will be proud of our accomplishments and not threatened by them. Those who will offer encouragement or words of wisdom along the way.


These are the people we want to spend more time with. We need to surround ourselves with positive, encouraging, supportive people to whatever extent we are capable. If you don't have people like that in your 'real' life, seek them out online. Whatever it takes, it will be worth it!


My goal in this life is to be a Supporter--You?