Since going Paleo my family has fallen even more in love with our grill. Paleo and grilling just work well together. The past couple of years I've even been stepping outside my grilling comfort zone more and more. Grilling things I'd never thought to have grilled before and trying new flavor combinations. I have to say I'm pretty thrilled with the results of most of my flavor experiments. In the past I'd never have thought to grill fruit, but it's amazing. Grilling fruit and adding it to traditionally savory dishes? Brilliant. Oh yes, and? New rule: every burger recipe for the rest of forever must contain grilled pineapple. OK, maybe more of a guideline. It's a seriously delicious combination though. This Smoky Grilled Pineapple Burger is always a crowd-pleaser at my house. It's not only Paleo, but Whole30, glutenfree, lower carb, and clean eating friendly. I promise you won't miss the bun! paleo, grilled pineapple burger, smoky
Do you ever get caught up in social media validation? By that I mean, looking at how many RT's and @'s you get on Twitter...or how many comments people leave on your blog...maybe how many emails you get from blog readers or bloggy friends. Not just looking at these things, but looking at them as if they're some measure of you...as a person.
This last week I've realized that I have been. I've found myself thinking: hmm, no one has talked to me on twitter today, weird, and wow, that blog post only got 1 comment, wonder why? or maybe hmm, my blog views are down a little, what am I doing wrong? and my favorite why did those bloggers unfollow me on twitter? did I offend?
Now, I do look at my blog as more than just an online journal, so I do pay attention to views and comments and metrics like that, but here's the thing: when did all of that cross over into feeling I need these things to feel OK? Because it has!
The last week I've found myself feeling bad because certain metrics, certain stats were faltering. Bad about myself! Just when I feel like I'm doing well, making all around progress, wham, that wrecking ball of insecurity comes smashing in.
Just when I think I'm making progress in not seeking validation outside of myself, boom, I realize somewhere else I'm seeking that validation. Tell me I'm OK Twitter, tell me I'm good enough facebook, gmail don't look at me like I'm the fat lonely girl again.
Sometimes I wonder if that insecure teenager inside will ever feel good about herself?! Will that little girl inside ever stop crying out for someone to love her?
It's hard for me to separate my blog from myself. It is such a personal thing, I put a lot of tough stuff out there, but at the same time: it's not ME. Just because less people, or more people read it, that's no reflection of who I am or am not.
Yes, I want my blog to be successful, yes I have my reasons for this, but none of this should be connected to my confidence. To my self esteem. To how I feel on any given day.
I'm sort of laughing at myself right now, it's amazing that I was letting myself get wrapped up in this silliness this week.
Yes I love my blog, but NO it is not me. It is not who I am. Just because 5,000,003 people read it or 3 people read it that doesn't reflect on who I am and shouldn't affect how I feel about myself either! I'm OK whether I have 2 twitter followers or 2,000. I'm still me. I'm still the me that has lost the 50 lbs, the me that ran a marathon, the me that is learning to take better care of herself every day.
Note to self: get over it.
Do you ever find yourself seeking validation, approval even, from social media realms? Do you think social media can be another version of the cool kids table?
This last week I've realized that I have been. I've found myself thinking: hmm, no one has talked to me on twitter today, weird, and wow, that blog post only got 1 comment, wonder why? or maybe hmm, my blog views are down a little, what am I doing wrong? and my favorite why did those bloggers unfollow me on twitter? did I offend?
Now, I do look at my blog as more than just an online journal, so I do pay attention to views and comments and metrics like that, but here's the thing: when did all of that cross over into feeling I need these things to feel OK? Because it has!
The last week I've found myself feeling bad because certain metrics, certain stats were faltering. Bad about myself! Just when I feel like I'm doing well, making all around progress, wham, that wrecking ball of insecurity comes smashing in.
Just when I think I'm making progress in not seeking validation outside of myself, boom, I realize somewhere else I'm seeking that validation. Tell me I'm OK Twitter, tell me I'm good enough facebook, gmail don't look at me like I'm the fat lonely girl again.
Sometimes I wonder if that insecure teenager inside will ever feel good about herself?! Will that little girl inside ever stop crying out for someone to love her?
It's hard for me to separate my blog from myself. It is such a personal thing, I put a lot of tough stuff out there, but at the same time: it's not ME. Just because less people, or more people read it, that's no reflection of who I am or am not.
Yes, I want my blog to be successful, yes I have my reasons for this, but none of this should be connected to my confidence. To my self esteem. To how I feel on any given day.
I'm sort of laughing at myself right now, it's amazing that I was letting myself get wrapped up in this silliness this week.
Yes I love my blog, but NO it is not me. It is not who I am. Just because 5,000,003 people read it or 3 people read it that doesn't reflect on who I am and shouldn't affect how I feel about myself either! I'm OK whether I have 2 twitter followers or 2,000. I'm still me. I'm still the me that has lost the 50 lbs, the me that ran a marathon, the me that is learning to take better care of herself every day.
Note to self: get over it.
Do you ever find yourself seeking validation, approval even, from social media realms? Do you think social media can be another version of the cool kids table?
It's interesting and perhaps a whole post for me (would you mind? youve gots my email :))but I don't.
ReplyDeleteIs it because I came to social media already...old? Id already processed my freakin longing to be at the table where my misfit self didnt quite fit in?
I really like this post, Kerri.
Email me and let me know your thoughts on my writing my thoughts next week.
oh
and feel free to delete this rambling comment :)
Kerri it's only natural to feel like you need validation when you pour a lot of your most personal thoughts & feelings out, for the world to read. Just know that your words have made a difference to people, whether they comment or not...I can say that, because they have for me. Have a great weekend :)
ReplyDeleteI'm not "big" on twitter or facebook and probably don't invest enough of myself and my time to grow much there. So, small as I am there, I don't pay much attention to numbers.
ReplyDeleteFor my blog, I rarely look at numbers either. But the one thing I really pay attention to are comments. Which posts get a lot; which get few. And I wonder why. Comments are more like a conversation and for me, breed connections, and that is what I love about blogging.
I think I am not hip enough for the whole social media thing:)
I am the same way. The more comments or "likes" that I get, the better I feel. Kinda ridiculous when you think about it. Hmmm something to think about.
ReplyDeleteTo me it's just a lot of fun. If people read and comment and have good conversations, good, if not, I don't change anything about me.
ReplyDeleteI absolutely think it's the cool kids table. BUT I realize that I'm not even in the lunch room for the most part. My blog is mainly me just rambling and pondering my life, so it really is more of an online journal for me.
ReplyDeleteI love social media though, and I'm pretty aware of whats going on with it and how it's being utilized. I'm just not in the game.
I love that you posted this!! I am a weird on - I could care less about numbers - blog stats...what are those?!?!
ReplyDeleteBut twitter - forgetaboutit!!! I have been giving myself a twitter time out - I was spending way too much time watching and updating and then getting upset when no one tweeted me back. Silly, huh?!?
I have been so much more productive since I stepped back. I let myself unplug and enjoy real life a bit more. For me, I think it has been the best thing.
Also, to know me is to know I think a lot differently than most people and sometimes it is hard to balance that online - I worry people may not "get" me.
Enough rambling from me!
ya know I love ya, I may not always comment but I always read!!
much love, jen
I find myself doing that on Facebook A LOT. Its like, does anyone care (Echo echo echo)! Love me!!!
ReplyDeleteOooh! Don't get caught up in the numbers, my dear! Blogging, FB, and Twitter are not a popularity contest, in my humble opinion.
ReplyDeleteSome people with 25,000+ twitter fans are not as influential as some people I've met along the way with fewer than 50!
I have no idea how many twitter followers I have or how many friends or fans or comments either. And I check my blog stats about as frequently as I get on the scale...which is once a year when I go to the doctor. ;0)
Have fun out there! Be you! But don't let it consume you. And when it's not fun anymore...it's time unplug and come back when you've rebooted.
xo
I just found your blog and this is the first post I got to read. It's so great that you can articulate this so well. I have some of this for sure. I get a funny "not in the club" feeling when those blog awards go around. Like no one asked me to dance. Intellectually I get it, but some feelings die hard.
ReplyDeleteI suppose social media is a good way to practice "getting over it" as you say.
You sure inspired a lot of interesting comments with this one!
And even though it doesn't matter... I'm following you here and on twitter and FB now.
Some of the blogs that have been ruined for me are the ones where the authors comment too often on how many followers/commenters/@'S they have on their twitter-book-blog...
ReplyDeleteCase in point... I cannot read The Anti-Jared anymore because I am SO tired of reading him lament on how famous he is and how he has XXXX amount of followers on twitter or facebook. It really gets old.. Just tell me about the journey man! Ya know?
I like when people comment and offer support during my weight loss journey. But, I don't look at it for validation. It is good to have followers so you don't feel like you are talking to yourself, but for me it's an accountability tool. I don't really think you should pay any attention to when people stop following. Because it usually is not any thing to do with you personally. For me, I look for bloggers who are actively trying to lose weight, because right now that is MY focus. Some of the bloggers I follow, are not even talking about their weight loss journey, for them I don't always read their posts. I'm at the stage I want to hear about the weight loss. Also there are times I will start following a newly discovered blog and it is not what I expected so I unfollow. It really wasn't the person, it just wasn't my interest. I also quit following if it is always negative or they haven't posted in month or so. Bottom line, reading blogs are to help me, but if they hinder--I go away.
ReplyDelete