I had an epiphany last night on Twitter. I know, right, but yes, on Twitter. I was so close to 200 followers I could taste it, so I was on a quest to get up to 200 followers. It was all in good fun, but I started to reflect. Hmm, why do I care if it's 185 or 200, what is the difference really?
I started thinking it had something to do with my little ms. overachiever tendencies. Then I hopped over to my blog, I've topped 40 followers, yippeee! (and welcome new followers) But, why does that number excite me so?
Back over to Twitter where I'm discussing a site I found called sitemeter. It basically tracks how many people visit your blog, what states, countries they're from, etc. My inner geek is loving this! It could be very addicting for me. Apparantly no more bacon says google analytics is better. But for now my inner tech geek is satisfied with sitemeter. Back to my story...
I am thrilled watching the sitemeter numbers go up. I even requested my Twitter friends go to my site to make it go up! Not sure who exactly played along, except I know TJ did, and I thank her ;) All in good fun, but why did I care if that number went up?
Epiphany! I want graded! Ever watch Phineas and Ferb? The episode where Baljeet finds out he's not getting a grade for music camp? Ya, that's me.
That's why I care how many followers I have on Twitter and my Blog. That's why sitemeter is so thrilling to me. That explains a lot actually! It might not make sense to some, but it was a huge light bulb moment for me.
All my life I wanted an A. That was my goal. I wanted the best grade in the class, that's what mattered to me. All through Elementary School, Jr High, slight break in High School whilest I went through my rebel phase, then finishing off with college.
But, I'm a mom now. I homeschool my kids. I blog. I clean house. I love my husband. I cook. I try to lose weight. No grades.
I have moved on to a new stage in life that I don't have to take tests (which I am confident I could do professionaly if there was such a job!). No papers to write to get that percentage stamped at the top. None of that.
Second epiphany! That is why I care so ding dang darned much what that stinking scale says. It's my grade for weight loss!
I really don't know what to do with this epiphany, but in the search of discovering why I do what I do I feel a bit farther down the path.