I had an epiphany tonight.
Hubby called at 6:30 to say he was headed 45 minutes north to work on a combine and had no idea how late he would be. As I hung up the phone and reached for my third slice of Paleo Pumpkin Bread I paused...
I just had dinner. I wasn't a bit hungry. I was actually over-full.
I was eating my loneliness.
As many of you know we've recently taken a huge leap and moved from Colorado to Idaho. We LOVE it here! It's been an amazingly positive thing for our family, but has also meant some pretty drastic changes.
Hubby used to work for himself. He would leave the house about 9 and be home by 5 or 6. He rarely worked weekends. It was wonderful.
However, we chose for him to get a "real" job here in Idaho. It's been great for him, for all of us. He really loves it and it provides well for us. But...
He works a lot this time of year. A lot. A lot.
There are times he comes home at 2 AM. He works most Saturdays. Sometimes he is even out of town a few days at a time. I'm not used to that.
We knew what we were getting into and went in with eyes wide open. I know it's just a season and I'm totally fine with it (and really totally fine with the overtime, lol), but...
I'm lonely sometimes.
Obviously, moving to a completely new place where I know no one and having my husband gone most of the time is hard. This isn't a boo hoo, poor me, I'm so lonely post though. It's a light bulb moment post.
I'm lonely. Duh. I'm reaching for food as comfort when I'm feeling lonely. (I remember doing the exact same thing as a single mom putting myself through college.) The scale is going back up. Ding. Ding. Ding.
I can do something about that. Being aware is half the battle sometimes.
Lonely is a feeling. Food won't fix it.
So, tonight, I put down the third piece of pumpkin bread and wrote this post. The next time that lonely feeling lurks in I can call someone. I can reach out to friends on social media. I can take the kids for a walk and get out of the house. I can write, I can workout, I can journal, I can read, I can do a million other things besides eat to self-medicate. Everyone feels lonely sometimes, it's OK to feel lonely, but I can make different choices of how I react when I'm feeling this way.
Food doesn't fix lonely.
Ever find yourself eating from loneliness?