Since going Paleo my family has fallen even more in love with our grill. Paleo and grilling just work well together. The past couple of years I've even been stepping outside my grilling comfort zone more and more. Grilling things I'd never thought to have grilled before and trying new flavor combinations. I have to say I'm pretty thrilled with the results of most of my flavor experiments. In the past I'd never have thought to grill fruit, but it's amazing. Grilling fruit and adding it to traditionally savory dishes? Brilliant. Oh yes, and? New rule: every burger recipe for the rest of forever must contain grilled pineapple. OK, maybe more of a guideline. It's a seriously delicious combination though. This Smoky Grilled Pineapple Burger is always a crowd-pleaser at my house. It's not only Paleo, but Whole30, glutenfree, lower carb, and clean eating friendly. I promise you won't miss the bun! paleo, grilled pineapple burger, smoky
This post is inspired by the Ting Tings. Yes, bizarre, I know. My creative process runs a muck often.
You see, I have this song on my running playlist:
In some weird way, it inspires me. OK, maybe I have no idea what the words really say, and I take it to say completely different. Meh, I'm OK with that.
OK, backing up a bit. I was pregnant at age 17 and after having my oldest son, I was lost. I had no idea what to do with my life. Here I was in charge of another human life and not doing such a great job with my own. After attempting to be married to his father for a brief, horrible, time I was on my own.
I decided I needed to put myself through college. If I was going to be able to afford to support us I needed better than a high school education.
It was a rough time. I worked full or part time and went to school full time. Add to that being a single mom and yes, my life was beyond hectic. And stressed. And tight on money. And lonely...and, and, you get the picture.
I turned to food a lot. I gained weight. A lot. I was ashamed and embarrassed. And people...well, they can be mean.
I remember one day during that time:
I had a full day of classes and work. My son was at my aunt's house and I was on my way home to get him. I had skipped lunch and I was starving. I swung into the Arby's drive through. As I pulled in the speaker squawkily asked me to please wait. I waited. I'd had a horrible day and a LOT of things on my mind. Not to mention I was driving 45 minutes each way to get to school. Time was not something I had a lot of, but I was starved and had a long ride home, so I waited. And waited. And waited.
A car pulled up behind me. A car full of teenagers. I didn't think too much about it. They were loud, their music was loud. Teenagers. After about a minute of waiting the driver loudly flings out of his window, "Come on, just order everything on the menu and get it over with Fatty!"
I wanted to drive away, I wanted to disappear, I wanted him to disappear. Ouch. I wanted to say something back. I wanted. Not. To. Be. Fat.
Finally, they came back and took my order and I went on my way, but I can picture that scene and feel those emotions like it was yesterday.
This is one incident. There were many others in my life. I'm sure many of you have your own similar stories. They hurt.
That's where the Ting Tings song comes in. I wish I could go back and hug that me, and tell her: Fatty? That's not my name. Useless, ugly, stupid....That's not my name. Big girl, loser, xyz pounds on the scale. That's. Not. My. Name.
I spent many years beating myself up and being carelessly torn down by others. But you know what? That's not my name! I'm pretty great. It may have taken me a while to figure that out, but I know it now. And, no, you're not full of yourself if you like yourself. It's not weird to love yourself. These are things I used to think!
If any of you are there, in that horrible place I was, don't let it take you so long to figure out that you're great. Let me tell you, you're great. Yes, you.
A little wisdom from the Ting Tings. Who knew? ;)
You see, I have this song on my running playlist:
In some weird way, it inspires me. OK, maybe I have no idea what the words really say, and I take it to say completely different. Meh, I'm OK with that.
OK, backing up a bit. I was pregnant at age 17 and after having my oldest son, I was lost. I had no idea what to do with my life. Here I was in charge of another human life and not doing such a great job with my own. After attempting to be married to his father for a brief, horrible, time I was on my own.
I decided I needed to put myself through college. If I was going to be able to afford to support us I needed better than a high school education.
It was a rough time. I worked full or part time and went to school full time. Add to that being a single mom and yes, my life was beyond hectic. And stressed. And tight on money. And lonely...and, and, you get the picture.
I turned to food a lot. I gained weight. A lot. I was ashamed and embarrassed. And people...well, they can be mean.
I remember one day during that time:
I had a full day of classes and work. My son was at my aunt's house and I was on my way home to get him. I had skipped lunch and I was starving. I swung into the Arby's drive through. As I pulled in the speaker squawkily asked me to please wait. I waited. I'd had a horrible day and a LOT of things on my mind. Not to mention I was driving 45 minutes each way to get to school. Time was not something I had a lot of, but I was starved and had a long ride home, so I waited. And waited. And waited.
A car pulled up behind me. A car full of teenagers. I didn't think too much about it. They were loud, their music was loud. Teenagers. After about a minute of waiting the driver loudly flings out of his window, "Come on, just order everything on the menu and get it over with Fatty!"
I wanted to drive away, I wanted to disappear, I wanted him to disappear. Ouch. I wanted to say something back. I wanted. Not. To. Be. Fat.
Finally, they came back and took my order and I went on my way, but I can picture that scene and feel those emotions like it was yesterday.
This is one incident. There were many others in my life. I'm sure many of you have your own similar stories. They hurt.
That's where the Ting Tings song comes in. I wish I could go back and hug that me, and tell her: Fatty? That's not my name. Useless, ugly, stupid....That's not my name. Big girl, loser, xyz pounds on the scale. That's. Not. My. Name.
I spent many years beating myself up and being carelessly torn down by others. But you know what? That's not my name! I'm pretty great. It may have taken me a while to figure that out, but I know it now. And, no, you're not full of yourself if you like yourself. It's not weird to love yourself. These are things I used to think!
If any of you are there, in that horrible place I was, don't let it take you so long to figure out that you're great. Let me tell you, you're great. Yes, you.
A little wisdom from the Ting Tings. Who knew? ;)
Wow...I saw this link on FB and because I am not really good at blog reading lately I decided to click & come by. So glad I read this. Hit home, made me feel less alone as I was once sitting in that drive through window feeling really badly about myself. My mind still drifts back, making me feel the way i knew for so long. Thanks for the reminder that I am GREAT and I am far from that person who drove through and binged. :)
ReplyDeleteI love this post! I will think of you when I hear this song now and think of your empowering words.
ReplyDeleteI know exactly how you feel. This post made me think on the many times that I have over heard someone say something mean to me and instead of thinking it is their own problem, it makes me hate myself even more. I'm so glad you posted this so I know that I don't feel so alone in my thinking.
ReplyDeleteThis is a great post, even if it is inspired by such a horrible, horrible song, which is sung by a horrible, HORRIBLE group.
ReplyDeleteMusical tastes aside, you rock!
It breaks my heart that so many people carry a very hurtful incident around forever and the mean people all these years later probably have no memory of the hurtful words that were said.
ReplyDeleteKerri, you're an amazing beautiful person who deserves all the best life has to offer!!
Great post, Kerri! That's not my name either. ;) I hadn't heard the song before, but I have the Ting Tings on my running playlist, too. Shut Up and Let Me Go. I think I may need to add this one soon.
ReplyDeleteLOVE.THIS!!!!!
ReplyDeleteEveryday I find a new blog that inspires me o get off my ass and move, just so someday I don't have to be in those embarrassing situations anymore. Today it was yours. Thank you so much for writing this.
ReplyDeleteYou Rock!!
amazing. I LOVE this song... and the group... I'll admit it. I listed this when I was first really working out. it would come on the gym tv and I got that exact same feeling.
ReplyDeleteI love that you don't define yourself by titles. Instead you are who you are. Something to def reach more for.
Comforting and inspiring..thanks Kerri!
ReplyDeletei'm glad i stopped by today, i needed to read this. you're great :)
ReplyDeleteand youre ENOUGH just as you are in this moment.
ReplyDeleteWords are powerful things, aren't they? This story is a great reminder of how we should talk to others as well as ourselves. Thanks!
ReplyDeleteFantastic post! I know what it's like to have someone, you don't even know, say such hurtful things. It's weird how words from someone who means nothing to us can stick with us and cause so much pain- even years later! But I love this post!
ReplyDeleteLove the song. Love the video. Love your post.
ReplyDeleteDefine yourself, choose your name.
Somehow I missed this blog, but I am so glad I came back to see if I'd missed reading one! This is just what I needed to read. Thanks, Kerri! =) I've been battling this out in my head for a long time. I've always been bigger than both my sisters. They're 5 foot 1-ish and around 100 lbs each. I'm 5'7" and much more than that. Last year I had some teenage boys loudly make some rude comments regarding my weight while I was grocery shopping. I didn't have a single thing in my grocery cart, so I knew it had everything to do with my appearance. After that I would think "fatty, whale, blimp, pig, just plain disgusting" and every other negative thing I could come up with when I looked in the mirror. I really beat myself up. But like you said, that's NOT my name! I am much more than that, and as I mentally change, I'm enabling myself to change physically as well. Thanks for the reminder!
ReplyDelete