Lately I feel perpetually behind.
Behind on my writing.
Behind on my workouts.
Behind on my housework.
Behind on my weight loss.
Behind, behind, behind. Seriously, let's not even discuss my gmail inbox.
With all of the things on my plate it seems like there are so many days I'm doing good to just tread water. I feel like I'm in a constant state of trying to catch up. Here's the thing though: in always tending to look forward to the day when I'll be 'caught up'...I am missing today.
Yes, there are a lot of things on my plate right now, but at the same time they were all carefully chosen by me. I am mindful to not be busy just for the sake of busy. I try to watch my priorities and say no when I need to say no. So, why do I feel so overwhelmed lately?
I think the root of my problem here is I still struggle with thinking I need to do all these things perfectly. I'm a recovering perfectionist I guess you could say. I realize full-well that I will never be perfect and shouldn't even expect it of myself, but at the same time those expectations lurk in the back of my mind sometimes.
So, I'm going to embrace my behind...or maybe my behindedness?
Not meaning that I'm going to give myself permission to be a slacker, but that I give myself permission to not always be perfect at everything. Permission to do my best and then just not stress.
My house will not always be perfect, because we kinda sorta insist on living here. My workouts will not always be perfect; there will be days I oversleep and days that simply run away with themselves. And today's post, well it was supposed to be a fitbook giveaway (please come back tomorrow for that!) but I swapped it with what was to post tomorrow, because I didn't have time to finish it.
But that's OK.
What is not OK is focusing so much on catching up or thinking forward to the ever elusive day that I will be completely caught up (as in perfect) so much that I'm not really enjoying today. This day. Because this is the day I live in. Not tomorrow, not yesterday.
So, yes I'm embracing my behind. It's where I am right now. And that's OK.