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xoxo, Kerri O.

Friday Favorite--Fear of Greatness

Ever since I sat down and wrote out my five year goals I find myself struggling with some fears again. Fear of  failure has crept in there a little, and fear of success too! So, I thought I'd re-post my fear of greatness post, I needed reminding. Hope you enjoy. Happy Friday everyone!

Fear of Greatness

I have talked some on my blog about my fear of failure. I struggle hugely with fearing failure in everything from weight loss to writing. In the past it has kept me from even trying. I really feel I'm getting a handle on this fear. I've stared that fear down and not let it beat me. I have began those tasks head on that I was afraid to start in the past out of fear of failing them.

Prior to starting my blog I had no idea fear had such a hold on my life. But it did and still does in some ways. Upon much soul searching lately I have realized I have a fear of being great. A fear of greatness?! Say what?

I have been doing a lot of thinking about this and had a long conversation with my sister about it. I am afraid to be great. To be anything special. To stand out. To be better than someone else. This may sound absurd to some and I will do my best to explain. This post and how to best put into words what I feel has been swimming around my head for days.

My entire life I have had people who have made me feel that I need to make my self less than. Less smart. Less attractive. Less successful. Less everything. Close people, important people. For some reason they view me being great as them being put down somehow. I guess keeping me down makes them feel better somehow? Maybe they are competing with me? I really don't understand their motives. But, I believe this has had an affect on my weight as well as many other aspects in my life.

I am afraid to be beautiful. I couldn't believe I was saying it when I said it to my sister on the phone. But it is true. Even typing this I am trying to figure out how to say it without sounding full of myself (which I am NOT) because I don't want people to 'think' that I see myself as beautiful. 

In my past I have always had family members or close friends that were...I guess jealous of me? That is the only thing I can figure to explain it. But I always felt that I had to downplay myself. To be less than. Especially concerning my looks. If they weren't putting me down, I was putting myself down.

Now I'm not saying I'm some gorgeous gal or something, but I've always been curvy and whatever. In my single days I had a few guys look my way. Any attention I received for my looks these people in my life would roll their eyes and act like I was...I don't even know what. But it was huge attitude by them and it has made me be afraid to say anything nice or good about my looks AT ALL, EVER. If anyone says anything nice to me I have always felt obliged to play it off. It embarrasses me. Somehow these people have made me feel guilty for my appearance! I am trying very hard to learn to just say thank you to compliments and leave it at that. 

If we went shopping and tried on clothes heaven forbid something look good on me. If I looked good in a pair of sunglasses they made me look like a 'bitch'. If I was doing my makeup I got mean stares. If I got a cute new get the picture. Somehow all these events were about them. Heaven forbid I lose weight!

It goes deeper than just my appearance. I have never felt I can be smart or successful out loud either!

My ex husband made me feel like I was a show off if I used too big of words. Possibly why he's the ex?! But that's just one example of many where I have felt I can't show I have a brain. I did well in school, but much of it I did very quietly. I didn't want to stand out, especially around certain people. 

If I succeed at anything these people in my life make me feel like I'm being a show off, like I'm full of myself, like I think I'm a big deal. How dare I think I'm...anything. It's like I'm in competition with them, but they're not even trying, so..uh, guess I'm winning?! It seems they feel I am putting them down somehow just by being ME. My marathon...ya, that went over REAL well.

While I am not sure if I have explained the situation well, I see it very clearly now. I have got to stop feeling I have to be less than for other people. I am not in charge of them and their feelings. I cannot keep myself down because of their choices in their lives. It is not a competition. They don't have to lose because I win...I can be me even if that means being great at things. Even if that means becoming a successful writer. Even if that means running races. Even if that means having a great husband and kids. Even if that means being thin. Even if that means being beautiful. It's OK to be me. It's OK to be GREAT.

While I'm not struggling with these people at the moment, I am struggling with the concept that it's OK to succeed, it's OK to be GREAT. It stems from these interactions in my life. I've been conditioned my entire life not to take that risk, not to think too much of myself, not to want too much for myself, not to expect too much...I mean I might be disappointed?! Enough is enough. As I said in yesterday's post: I have set huge goals and I am boldly stepping out into them!

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KETO Hot Cocoa Pancakes

OK, I know I've been on quite the low carb pancake tangent lately, but THESE! Seriously, these are yummtastic. Yummazing? Ya, they're really good. They just might be my favorite recipe I've ever done. Ever. OK, that might be my paleo apple crisp recipe, but that's not low, I wonder if I could tweak that low carb...

That would be brilliant!

You know, bloggers area always talking seo this and seo that (seo stands for search engine optimization if you're not a blogger) and I'm just over here yammering. I'm pretty sure when google's spider crawlers (anyone shiver at that word picture? eesh) get to FitViews they just think, "Yeesh, move along. Nothing to see here." Ha ha ha!

Anyway, pancakes. KETO Hot Cocoa Low Carb Pancakes no less. So good. 

As I've mentioned before I'm back to low carb (keto actually) and developing new recipes to make it easier to stick with. I find I just plain feel great when I eat ketogenic, and I definitely h…

KETO Cocktails: The Lemon Drop

I'm starting a new series here on FitViews! FitGirl Cocktails. I love a good glass of red wine now and then, I mean it's practically a health food, right? ;) But sometimes I just want a cocktail. I'm all for moderation and having a drink now and then, but I'm just not down with the calorie, carb, and sugar counts of some of my favorites. Seriously, have you ever looked them up? Eek. So, I've set to work at converting my favorite cocktail recipes to be more keto diet friendly!

The first cocktail recipe I'm tackling is the lemon drop. I used to love these, but haven't had one in years because of the sugar in them. In my early twenties I had a friend who used to make them for me all the time. We would have a shaker full of these, a good dinner, and a chick flick on a weeknight, it was kind of bliss. Her recipe called for so. much. SUGAR though! Looking back I think she may have used a wee bit more sugar than most, but they were really good.

I think my keto-ized …

30 Easy Prep and Pack Whole30 Lunch Recipes

The Whole30Program is amazing. I highly recommend it. Every time I've done a Whole 30 I have felt AMAZING by the end. It's a very empowering experience. It is not however an easy one. Mostly because the food prep can take much more time if you're used to grab and go options. A little planning ahead and you can definitely make it through the 30 days.

When it comes to Whole30 lunches, 3 things worked best for me:

Quick and easy salads.Prepping food on Sunday.Cooking too much at dinner and eating leftovers for lunch the next day.
I thought I'd share 30 of the awesome Whole30 lunch recipes I've found from my favorite bloggers (and a few from me!). I've included all three options I listed above. Some quick and easy salads, some to prep an entire recipe on the weekend and then portion them for lunches that week, and some to be cooked for dinner and the leftovers packed for lunch the next day. Play around and see what works best for you.

This list of 30 Whole30 Lunch Reci…

KETO Sweet Cinnamon Pancakes

I'm completely obsessed with keto pancakes lately. Oh, you've caught on to that? Well, these Sweet Cinnamon Low Carb Pancakes are a seriously tasty addition. They're a quick and super easy breakfast option.  Whether you're getting bored on your egg fast or just a low carb or keto style eater these are for you! With only 4 grams of carbs for the ENTIRE RECIPE, they'll fit nicely into your plan.

This recipe makes 3 or 4 decent sized pancakes and comes in at 340 calories according to my tracking in My Fitness Pal. I generally eat the whole thing and double the batch if hubby wants some too. It easily doubles or triples or feed however many you'd like. I love to make a giant batch on Sunday and have them ready for the week. Just reheat in the microwave and go.

Low Carb Sweet Cinnamon PancakesFor this recipe you'll need:
A mixing bowl (I like to use a large glass measuring cup to easily pour the batter in the skillet), a hand mixermeasuring spoons

Paleo Smoky Grilled Pineapple Burgers

Since going Paleo my family has fallen even more in love with our grill. Paleo and grilling just work well together. The past couple of years I've even been stepping outside my grilling comfort zone more and more. Grilling things I'd never thought to have grilled before and trying new flavor combinations. I have to say I'm pretty thrilled with the results of most of my flavor experiments. 

In the past I'd never have thought to grill fruit, but it's amazing. Grilling fruit and adding it to traditionally savory dishes? Brilliant.

Oh yes, and? New rule: every burger recipe for the rest of forever must contain grilled pineapple. OK, maybe more of a guideline. It's a seriously delicious combination though.

This Smoky Grilled Pineapple Burger is always a crowd-pleaser at my house. It's not only Paleo, but Whole30, glutenfree, lower carb, and clean eating friendly. I promise you won't miss the bun! 

Smoky Grilled Pineapple Burger Recipe Ingredients
2 lbs Lean Grass-…

Jillian Michaels BodyShred Full Review

I have to say my two months of BodyShred flew by! It seems like I just started yesterday. Ah, time flies while you're having fun. Right? OK, in this full review post, I hope to give you a good overview of exactly what the BodyShred program is as well as my thoughts and opinions on the program. So, is Jillian Michaels BodyShred hype or help? Let's chat...

Jillian Michaels BODYSHRED is Jillian's latest total-package fitness program. This set includes:

What's in the box:BodyShred Fitness Guide
BodyShred Meal Plan
BodyShred Rotational Calendar
BodyShred "Let Them See You Sweat" Workout Towel
     8 - Shred Style Circuit Workouts
       1. Launch
       2. Rise
       3. Amplify
       4. Escalate
       5. Conquer
       6. Triumph 
       7. Zenith
       8. Apex
     2 - Straight Cardio Workouts
       1. Fire Up
       2. Ignite
    Plus, bonus workout Opus and a disc on the cast and teaching the moves. So, a total of 12 DVDs are included in this set.

The BodyShred Workouts

Easy Paleo Mashed Sweet Potatoes

This Easy Paleo Mashed Sweet Potatoes recipe was sponsored by Puritan's Pride.
Growing up the only encounter I had with sweet potatoes was at Thanksgiving dinner. I hesitate to even call them sweet potatoes though. They were more like sugar coated sugar, with a side of sugar. Seriously!
The recipe was to coat a baking dish in margarine, add diced sweet potatoes, top with more margarine and a healthy heaping of brown sugar. Bake. And then? At the end you top the whole thing with a bag of marshmallows and bake again.
Blech! Needless to say I was never fond of sweet potatoes.
When I first went paleo I decided to reacquaint myself with sweet potatoes. They’re a great paleo-friendly carb source. I must confess the thought made me shudder, but I persevered. I tried them simple. Baked. I was so shocked. They're so good!
Now, I love sweet potatoes. They’re a go-to side dish for family dinners. Not only are they delicious, but they’re good for us and easy to make. The funny thing about sweet…

Keto Paleo Friendly Coffee Creamer Recipe

Going keto paleo has me missing one thing: the organic grass-fed half-and-half I'd been having in my coffee. Since going paleo over a year ago I've searched and searched and just never found anything else I love in my coffee. I'd just about given up on a keto paleo-friendly coffee creamer!

I was almost to resign myself to black coffee forever, but then I decided to resort again to trying to make my own. This version is simple and quite delicious. Not only is it keto paleo, but Whole30 and 21 Day Sugar Detox friendly as well.

Keto Paleo Cinnamon Vanilla Coffee Creamer
1 can Organic Canned Coconut Milk(the kind in the carton just won't do it)
1 teaspoon Cinnamon Vietnamese Organic
1 teaspoon Organic Pure Vanilla for 100% Whole30 compliant swap for vanilla powder
2 teaspoons raw local honey or Organic Maple Syrup (optional, leave out for KETO, Whole30, or 21DSD)

Blend all ingredients well in your blender. Store in the refrigerator (the cinnamon tends to set…

Paleo Peppermint Mocha Coffee Creamer Recipe

It's just not the holidays for me without a Starbucks peppermint mocha (or white chocolate peppermint mocha, mmm). I generally splurge once or twice during the holiday season with the real thing. Since going keto, however, I'm not sure if I will. Sometimes the sugar just isn't worth it!

Problem is I like them, miss them, and would really enjoy them all season long!
So..... I decided I wanted to tackle the peppermint mocha and come up with a KETO Paleo-friendly version. With this simple recipe, I can have a peppermint mocha anytime.

Not only is this recipe Keto Paleo, but it's also Whole30, gluten-free, vegan, primal, and 100% junk-free.

KETO Paleo Peppermint Mocha RecipeIngredients:
1 can Organic Canned Coconut Milk(Regular, NOT light. Seriously, ew.)
1/3 cup Organic Cocoa Powder
2 to 3 Tablespoons Organic Grade B Maple Syrup (Optional, leave out for keto or Whole30.)
1/2 to 1 teaspoon Organic Peppermint Extract(Depending how pepperminty you like it. I do 1/2 teaspoon)
1 teaspo…

Paleo Spaghetti and Meat Sauce

Have you ever blown up a spaghetti squash in the microwave? I have. Multiple times. I don't recommend it. It's quite the mess to clean up. And the noise? Will likely make you jump.
I kept seeing people say to just cook the whole spaghetti squash in the microwave. Don't bother cutting it, they said, it's so quick and easy, they raved. 
Ya, no. I blow it up.
So. You've been warned. If you do dare to put the thing whole in your microwave, at least make sure you have the camera set up...
Oh, and maybe poke a "vent" hole in it very carefully with a knife.
Paleo (Whole30) Spaghetti with Meat Sauce:

Ingredients1 spaghetti squash
2 lbs lean grass-fed ground beef
1- medium yellow onion, chopped
1- 14.5 oz can organic fire-roasted diced tomatoes
1- 6 oz can organic tomato paste
1/2 cup water
1 1/2 teaspoons Celtic sea salt
1/2 teaspoon black pepper
2 teaspoons organic basil
2 teaspoons organic oregano
1 teaspoon onion powder
1/2 teaspoon organic granulated garlic